Jerry Collins - what a top bloke

Hello everyone, sorry for my absence but have been very busy with non-rugby stuff recently. In the meantime, I hope you all saw the story about Jerry Collins playing for Barnstaple seconds!

Apparently the hard hitting Maori with the pint of Guinness hairdo has been holidaying in North Devon after the World Cup (personally I would have gone for the Caribbean everytime but each to their own, maybe the guy likes cold drizzle coming from Wellington?). Anyway, the upshot of this holiday was that he was spotted by members from Barnstaple RFC and invited to come along to a training session. Which he did.

Then, he was cheekily invited to join the 2nd XV in a game against Newton Abbot, and he took up the invitation, went out and bought some boots, played in the game without killing anyone, and stood a round in the bar! A bonafide rugby hero.

But just imagine how pissed off the 1st XV captain was that league registration rules prevented him playing for Barnstaple's top team!

Also, what must the lads at Newton Abbot have thought when he ran out: "That joker thinks he's Jerry Collins. Ha ha! Bloody hell, it is him - we're doomed"

To put the cherry on the icing of this special hero worship, Jerry then turned out for the Barbarians against South Africa wearing Barnstaple socks. Top man again!

More bloody silly shirts

Just when you think the the World Cup was the nadir of bad shirt day on a rugby field, the Heineken Cup comes along.

Look at these monsters!

Toulouse are now playing in a pastel pink with grey socks and shorts. Treviso switched to Barbie pink. And the great gleaming turd among the sorry bunch is the new Stade Francais strip in diarrhoea brown with pink flowers.

I tell you now, Stade will win nothing in this strip. How can their pack eye each other before the game and reckon yes we're up for this. More likely they'll be saying "Zut alors, do I look as much of a sorry dickhead in this kit as Remy?" Not a positive mindset for playing Bristol in the lashing rain, and so it transpired.

Once again, we, the true rugby fan should point our fingers at the marketing chimps and say: "No more". And for god's sake don't buy the kit. Don't traditional colours count for anything any more.