Tight Head, Loose Balls

This is a tongue in gumshield view of English rugby. It will first of all uphold the ethos, camaraderie and dodgy morality of the greatest team game in the world. However, it will be biased and if you aren't English, don't expect me to apologise either. Once I get the hang of it, I will encourage comments and forums, but all those Wind Up Merchants (one-eyed Taffs and Kiwis please note) that clog up other boards will find themselves on the end of a good shoeing and rucked out the back.

Sunday, 9 September 2007

Let down in Lens

Well that was a complete load of cack wasn't it.
On the same day when New Zealand scored 11 tries against Italy and Australia 10 tries in the one half against Japan - our brave lads subbornly refused to join in the try scoring orgy and only got 3 against the USA. So no bonus point there then - brilliant.
Actually, I think they are getting worse. The running in the backs would have disgraced any side from Hampshire League 4. The are too flat, not hitting the ball with pace and clearly have never trained with Olly Barkley before.
How else can you explain their refusal to follow any of his breaks. Olly was the one bright spark in the backs. I don't know which match Stuart Barnes was watching, but again he was praising Lewsey to the skies for his ability to run very fast and very hard into the nearest opposition player. Brilliant, but no tries that way either. Cueto looks confused, and the centres just inept. Catt is clearly too slow to cut it at international level and if he is solely there for his ability to launch the backline, consider him a dud.
We may have a chance next week but it may be found somewhere between slim and no chance.

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Things we like

We admire the dedication, fitness and professionalism of today's top players. But we also want them to remember they are rugby players and have a beer or two and let their hair down every now and again.
Vigorous rucking - with a good bit of shoe for those who stray on the wrong side or attempt to kill the ball
The British Lions - the greatest tour and probably the only professional one
Singing Mucky songs - yes I know its a cliche but anything which makes you thirsty must be a good idea
Proper Scrums and Lineouts - nothing against rugby league but we prefer our restarts to be contested and our forwards to be different shapes and sizes
Happy Hour
Easter Tours - long may they continue

Things we don't like

We abhor the blazers and marketing idiots at the RFU and wish to ask them just in whose best interests are they screwing up the game.
The new throat slitting haka. If its a tradition, why change it?
The IB and the cretins behind the new ELVs. Legalising bringing down a maul?!! Please forward all law suits c/o Paddy O'Brian, Dublin
Lady singers for the anthems - unless they wear a low cut top and are showing off their Charlies - thank you Katherine Jenkins
Interfering touch judges who would rather be refereeing the game - are you watching Stuart Dickinson, Steve Walsh and horror of horrors, Jim Fleming
Hotel Owners/Managers who can't distinguish between good old fashioned high jinks on tour and vandalism (see also foreign police and souvenir collecting)