Tight Head, Loose Balls

This is a tongue in gumshield view of English rugby. It will first of all uphold the ethos, camaraderie and dodgy morality of the greatest team game in the world. However, it will be biased and if you aren't English, don't expect me to apologise either. Once I get the hang of it, I will encourage comments and forums, but all those Wind Up Merchants (one-eyed Taffs and Kiwis please note) that clog up other boards will find themselves on the end of a good shoeing and rucked out the back.

Saturday, 8 September 2007

England expects

Another new beginning? I think we can all agree that the pack looks tasty and a match to any other side but this evening's match is all about the backs.
England have to show they can score tries out wide and that the centres can a) pass, b) break the line, and then c) link with support.
We know they will win tonight, but can they give the South Africans something to think about in the build up to next week's big game?
The back row looks balanced (are you taking notes Andy Robinson?) and as club mates should know each other's games.
Other points to look for:

will Sean Perry's form continue?
is Olly the new Jonny? probably not but he's better than the current Jonny.
will Lawrence be able to stop talking to the ref?
how many times will Jason get the ball? My guess is about 5 with 2 tries.
will Josh Lewsey remember to stop running into people and go for the space instead?

All soon to be revealed. Oh, and in other matches today, the Wobblies and Kiwis will win. But wouldn't it be fascinating if Italy and Scotland only put out 2nd teams against the Blacks, who then went into the quarters without having faced a proper team?

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Things we like

We admire the dedication, fitness and professionalism of today's top players. But we also want them to remember they are rugby players and have a beer or two and let their hair down every now and again.
Vigorous rucking - with a good bit of shoe for those who stray on the wrong side or attempt to kill the ball
The British Lions - the greatest tour and probably the only professional one
Singing Mucky songs - yes I know its a cliche but anything which makes you thirsty must be a good idea
Proper Scrums and Lineouts - nothing against rugby league but we prefer our restarts to be contested and our forwards to be different shapes and sizes
Happy Hour
Easter Tours - long may they continue

Things we don't like

We abhor the blazers and marketing idiots at the RFU and wish to ask them just in whose best interests are they screwing up the game.
The new throat slitting haka. If its a tradition, why change it?
The IB and the cretins behind the new ELVs. Legalising bringing down a maul?!! Please forward all law suits c/o Paddy O'Brian, Dublin
Lady singers for the anthems - unless they wear a low cut top and are showing off their Charlies - thank you Katherine Jenkins
Interfering touch judges who would rather be refereeing the game - are you watching Stuart Dickinson, Steve Walsh and horror of horrors, Jim Fleming
Hotel Owners/Managers who can't distinguish between good old fashioned high jinks on tour and vandalism (see also foreign police and souvenir collecting)